Friends? It's that what we mean?

Being together for more than 5 years, since primary. Things change after my huge mistake. Abandoned. Cry by myself, admit that I'm annoying. Tonnes of tears, until my eyes pain and tired. Why should I cry? I told myself, if they don't want to friend you anymore, you still have yourself, even the whole world abandoned me. What to do? I start hating schooling days. Facing those suspicious eyes. Am I living a life that is so hateful? Maybe, and that's why they hate me. Even my bestfriend, Yee Wen. Please don't ignore it, I know.


Thank Tzeyen for your message, appreciate!

Not yet complete:
Bell rang, ringing me from my sleep. My eye lids open slowly, looking at the digital clock, 5.15a.m. The first thing I had in mind, its Sport’s Day rehearsal. I mustn’t be late. I took my towel, get into bath. 6.15a.m., looking back the digital clock after I have all my things done. I walked to my room and tug the pinkish blanket, “WAKE UP!”, I shouted to my sister. She lazily get up from the queen size bed. After she’d prepared, she fetched me to bus station. It was 6.25 a.m. , showed by my digital watch.

The bus came one by one; time goes by second by second. No bus, at all. 204, 101, 302… All the bus passing by is not the bus that I’m going to take. 6.45a.m. , 6.55a.m. Still, there was no bus. 6.56a.m.! Finally, here came a bus. I rushed into the bus and paid my bus fair. I get myself a sit, can’t stop murmuring, Amitabha, Amitabha… Looked at the rain, my mind was a mess. Why was the rain such heavy? My sister couldn’t fetch me in the heavy rain. I fall into a slight sleep after that. 7.35a.m., I reached school, nobody at the place they gather. I’m so confused. Where they go? I wonder if they went to stadium with the provided school bus. I checked with my teacher, yes, they went. My heartbeat stop in a sudden, followed by tears scrolling down onto my cheeks. I wipe my tears, walk to my class desperately.

“Bavriel, why are you here?” This question asked for thousands times. I don’t know how to explain. I forced some words from my mind, “I was late for the bus,” they get a shock. Everybody tried to calm me down. But tears won’t listen to me, dropped on my uniform. My skirts are all wet. I don’t even know it’s my tears or the rain. The face of my commander appeared more obvious in my mind. What should I tell her after they come back? Again, I feel a sudden stop of my heartbeat. It’s not that I feel afraid, is that I felt guilty. My heart shattered into pieces.