The Fear

Exam.

Never feel so insecure about exam before. I'm not prepared, taking exam like this makes me feel insecure, incomplete.

I'm blogging to overcome the fear. I know blogging is a waste of time and unproductive and no one read it but I just feel like writing something. Because I'm afraid.

What now, mind? You have no problem in the last few seconds and you're telling me you're in fear?

Obstacles building up in front of me. I did study, I study really really throughly but I just don't know how to answer. Fail.

Not that I do really well in my lower forms' Chem but I don't want to disappoint myself. Disappointing myself is incomplete... More incomplete when I disappoint myself with Sciences...

And I'm gaining back those fat, I feel like dieing, puking paper shreds, punching myself, cut my skin and extract the fats out, do a trillion times of sit-ups everyday. I failed... And having most of my time starving, my stomach nearly can't digest anything now and acid reflux is occurring frequently. Big appetite due to PMS or whatever, shoo. I don't care even if my stomach ache, I just want to starve. Vengeance towards my own irresponsible on my OWN body. And also on my last minute revision.

Why urgghhhh.... Can we skip to Math paper so that I can feel happier?

* Today's papers are fine, not really disappointing. At least 60 each can?
* Why can the abs be so weirdly big and the fats are not shredding off?!