Dropped into another trap

MUST VENT EVERYTHING OUT BEFORE I START STUDYING

so. so. so.
 what happened is:

1. I STILL CARE AND EVERY SINGLE THING MATTERS
the one who you trusted the most disappoints you and you don't feel like talking to that person because you don't think that you're at fault and WOW like that person don't actually care about you and left you so fucking neglected and made you cry alone, seeing how pity you are and disappear from your life. that's it.

and, i'm so damn angry because you are important to me. that's why i care. your life may be fabulous and good but mine ain't so. so what happened around is not fun to me.

If you can't make it or do it, JUST DON'T EVEN MENTION ABOUT IT. OR JUST TELL ME THAT YOU CAN'T MAKE IT BECAUSE I HATE WAITING ALONE. A-L-O-N-E.

You knew it, you did it, you apologize and you did it again.
Can you feel how I felt?

2. THE FUCK BEING YOUR FUCKING SELF WHEN PEOPLE ALL AROUND YOU ARE FUCKING FAKERS?!
WOW again. so fucking fake that they can agree with what you're saying at the moment and WHOOSH, smack you at the back when you're not around. Absorbed in their own world thinking that you're the one who lives in your own world. I AM A FUCKING SELF-CENTRED BITCH EH?! I AM. SO WHAT?!

why do i even fucking care all this nonsense ide.

THEY CARE SHIT ABOUT ME. that's how it goes. WOW.  I'm at fault in everyone's mind again. fantastic. very good. Think all the fucking way you want to think about me.

I KNEW IT. I am always that weird in their mind. It's only my own akhem-will to stick around.

fine. even i'm not good at being alone but i'll try. Easier than trying to 'intrude' in your world. Sorry.

the fuck when you tell everything in your heart to someone but then it's all rubbish to them?!


FUCK WORLD FUCK LIFE I AM DONE.



and the very pity moment you realise that you got no one to talk to because it doesn't seemed like they have time to listen to your rubbish.
how to fucking carry on?