I'm afraid I might break

where to go?
where to belong with?
empty.

too much. i took too much time.
spending all my time
only with myself.
i know myself too well.
too well.

in my own fort.
dare not watch what's beyond that wall.
i got nothing at all with me.
i cannot go far.
so i stay. until someday.
maybe.
there'll be someone.
maybe. or.

--------------------------------------

i can't speak.

i can't talk.
i can't express.
words in any languages.
they do not fit in all the feelings.
my feelings.
crooked.
to a way that i can't express them.
to anyone. in anyway.
i... can't.

just hold me.
just hold my tears.
just hold.
they do not burst.
i just sometimes implode.
it's fine.
really fine.
getting used to these is easy.
too many times i've done it.
i know how to handle.

gently hold me again.
someone.
i need to be cared.
when is the last time again?
or. does it even existed somehow?

------------------------------------

in another maze that i'll never walk out again.
lost in your thought.
not knowing what are you thinking.
kind of... lost.
that's why it's a maze.

my world.
a small one.
people walked in.
no. they just passed by.
you. i thought. will be different.

it's different from what you see.
you never explored.
you never want to.

and.
goodbye.

i guess.
i'll never try to walk into another maze again.
cos' making myself lost is the worst thing i can ever do to myself.

-------------------------------------

what's lie?
everything.    deception.
how is it like.
not to lie.
it's easy.
just. don't lie.
truth may hurt.
but. unknowns hurt more.
at least.
i'm beaten down by unknowns.
again and again.
tore.

---------------------------------------

 

too much thing i want to say.
to someone. to something.
everything just end up sinking deep in my heart.
just. just.

i can't...

i can't express.

can you feel me?
can you feel the emotion i'm feeling right now?

-----------------------------------------

need sleep.
i really need it.
is this still dream?
or am i awake?
..